I cried more yesterday than I have in a long time. I don't know why it hit me suddenly yesterday, but it did. While I was blow-drying my hair, I realized that when JD starts school on the 22nd, it will be the first time that him and Ryan have spent a lot of time apart. They are best buddies and inseparable. When JD goes to school, he won't see Ryan until the evening each day. I realized it and it just broke my heart. What is Ryan going to do all day while JD is at school? He's going to miss him so much. JD will keep so busy at school that he probably won't have much time to think about it, but Ryan will just be hanging out at Nanie's, where him and JD play everyday, so he'll notice it BIG TIME!
I just pray that the separation brings them closer. I hope that when they see each other each afternoon, they'll cling to each other and enjoy their time more than ever. And the weekends will be really special time together.
When I realized all of this yesterday, I started crying....and couldn't stop. I cried almost all day long. Now I can barely see because my eyes are so puffy! I wasn't crying because JD is starting school. I'm actually excited about that - he's so smart and loves to learn, so I think he's really going to enjoy school. I was crying because of their time apart, and how much I know Ryan is going to miss JD during the day.
What's funny is that JD realized it yesterday too. He asked if Ryan would be going to school with him too and when I said no, he started crying. Not whining and throwing a fit like he tends to do, but I mean, huge elephant tears pouring from his eyes, silent, very sad crying. Again, broke my heart. Jane was standing there too and she was bawling along with us.
I know it will just be an adjustment and everyone will be fine after a week or two, but I'm just dreading getting it all started.
Ok, I better stop now before I start crying again. I can't do that to myself again today.
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